Monday, 18 August 2014

Monday Moments- out or in?

Monday Moments are topsy turvey.

It wasn't even 10 a.m. and my 5 1/2 month old grandson tipped himself over in his swing chair. Fortunately he was giggling his head off and not a bit bothered, quite bemused by the upside down nature of his position. 

I'm hoping not to have too upside down a day today, although the sunny morning has faded into another rainy spell. My gardening plans might have to be altered a little - writing coming first, rather than after some outside work.

Revising ( read: euphemism for massive rewrite) my time-travel novel for early teens presently means ensuring there's plenty of action, loads of suspense and making the plot never falter. Easy to say. I'm too inclined to want to add lovely historical detail. This passage, for example, has just been earmarked for deletion. Is anything actually happening here, I had to ask myself?

Gypta’s tone was puzzled as she stared at Fianna. “Why do you ask questions while we walk? It is not usual in our tribe to disturb the peace of the forest with idle talk. We do not trouble the forest god with unnecessary noise and we need to be heedful of attack from our enemies. Is it not so in your branch of our tribe?”
Not chat?
Was that what Gypta meant? You couldn’t talk as you walked? The reproach in Gypta’s voice was damning. Realising Fianna had made some very big mistake Aran jumped in first to cover the confusion. “Princess, please forgive Fianna. In her excitement she’s forgotten. She won’t chatter any more.”
“That is as it should be!” Tyrnan was also critical and was now only a few steps behind them. “We all need to listen for untoward noises. We will maintain silence in the trees and pay attention.”
Fianna’s face flushed. Aran knew only too well how she hated to be in the wrong, though equally he understood her mistake, for how were they to have known you weren’t supposed to talk while walking in the forest? But if it was another rule of this strange game…they could do it.
Walking in silence was definitely a great way to appreciate the forest though, since he was much more aware of the animals and birds as they scuttled around and flit through the trees. Whenever he darted a look behind, Tyrnan alertly scanned all around him, was constantly aware and was taking note of any movements. His spear remained poised and ready…and was relentlessly trained on their backs!
At least, now, his sharp little knife didn’t prick at Aran’s throat - just a little something to be glad about.
As they continued on a small herd of deer passed through, way up ahead, shifting shadows crossing their path. The twins silently exchanged excited glances with Aran, their eyes sparkling. At home they often saw the occasional deer in the woods near their village, but never had they seen a whole herd passing by like this. The animals paused momentarily, their heads raised gracefully, catching the sounds of their approach, bounding off when the scent of people reached them. They moved so elegantly they hardly rustled the dense undergrowth, the leafy forest floor rippling only minutely with their progress.
Soon their direction changed. Patches of bright blue sky penetrated the glades and larger birds wheeled overhead above the treetops. As they neared the forest edge, descending all the time from the last slight rise, younger saplings were dotted more frequently around them all struggling to take root in the scrubby floor, sharply angled by the fiercer winds on the perimeter. A small winding river bubbled over large stones, in places. A little further upstream was a perfect crossing spot, a natural ford, narrow enough to traverse safely across some large flattish stones, the water there only knee deep.
“Princess Gypta!” Tyrnan called. “We will stop to pay homage below.” 
The answer is  - not really. So, off to the 'removals' folder? What do you think? Keep in or chuck out?

I'm off now to do even more revisions, but the nice thing about this kind of revision work is that I enjoy it when I remake links to the storyline to make the whole flow better - with lots of action. So like my grandson this morning, I'll be happiest when it's sorted out but not getting upset about what I'm presently doing. Read a **smiley face** :P 



No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my blog. Please pop your thoughts about this post in the comment box. :-)