Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Those Secondary Characters - DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM?

Secondary Characters Part Two

I’ve been ruminating over my debut novel, MONOGAMY TWIST, and wondering, if I forced myself, what exactly could I do as a follow-on to it? I ruthlessly edited out secondary characters whilst moving through draft stages, leaving me with only one possibility who is actually involved in the tiniest bit of dialogue.  

The character is Jeremy, who is PA to my sexy hero, Luke. Luke is an alpha hero-admittedly with flaws-but what do you discern from this tiny snippet below. Would YOU see Jeremy being an alpha if given a book of his own, or would he be more of a sensitive guy with a lot more foibles and flaws? From the excerpt, does he read as a yes-man to Luke, or do you see any hidden character traits?You don't have to view him as the guy on the left... but if it helps?

I’d love to hear YOUR ides of how you would use him in a next novel.

 Excerpt from MONOGAMY TWIST

An official contract arrived the next day before ten a.m., hand delivered by Luke’s PA, Jeremy, whom Rhia guessed to be a little younger than his boss. Jeremy was maybe a few years older than her twenty-six, a likeable guy who, from first introduction, demonstrated he knew all the particulars of the outlandish deal.
He conducted their meeting with considerable aplomb. His curious gaze appraised her, but he never strayed from the professional, not asking personal questions as he worked their way through the simple but legal terms on the contract. Yet he did ask some puzzling questions. Questions which made Rhia wonder about their relevance.
“How long have you lived at Border Cottage?”
“Mmm? I guess just a little over a year. I relocated here last year on July the second.”
“Have you made any recent trips in the last two weeks?” Jeremy scribbled on the pad lying on his knees.
“No.” Rhia was bemused, her gaze quizzical, and her voice hesitant as she continued, “As long as you don’t count my occasional trips to the supermarket in Hopton.”
Jeremy chuckled. “No, I think we’ll discount those trips. I was meaning some holiday perhaps?”
Rhia had not vacationed at all since moving to the cottage. A few more questions about recent days and her current work schedules were simple to answer, her mind drifting to wonder how the heck Luke had organized the contract, for he must have had his London lawyers work on it the minute he’d left her the previous late-afternoon.
Rhia realized what Luke indicated was true—he didn’t ever like to watch the grass grow. If something needed doing, it was done with super expediency. Not only was she aware of the power of the man, she was becoming more aware of what he could achieve with the power of money.
Unable to find fault with it, she duly signed the simple but very explicit contract. It had been pre-signed by Luke who had indeed included an incontestable monogamy clause, and after penning her signature the paperwork was countersigned by Jeremy.
She was loathe to hand over her birth certificate when requested. It was necessary to prove her identity for the marriage license, but her fingers lingered on it, her whole hand shaking so much Jeremy had to ease it out of her grasp. At that point the bizarre undertaking became so real. She was signing away her identity—for a year!
Jeremy’s voice was designed to soothe her frantic heartbeat, though her appreciation was vague at best. “Luke’s a good employer, Miss Ashton. He’s tough but fair and however weird this deal might seem, you can trust him. If he puts something on paper, he’ll stick to the letter.”
All done and dusted by 10:15 a.m.

Though, you'd maybe view Jeremy better as this guy here?  

Why don't you drop me a line and give me YOUR views. 



  1. Ah, intriguing question. Absolutely!

    Yet he did ask some puzzling questions. Questions which made Rhia wonder about their relevance.

    Maybe he's not only asking those questions on behalf of Luke (I'm assuming) and has he own hidden reasons for asking and for being a PA. Maybe he has a hidden agenda of his own. Armed with the information he's learned he's off on his own quest in your next book :)

  2. Hi Karyn, thank you for responding.I like what you are saying here, and that he could perhaps have a hidden agenda!

  3. Hi Nancy,

    I have no idea what a PA is. Physician's Assistant?

    We don't know much about him other than he's asking some personal questions and taking notes. I'm guessing he could morph into his own book as he moved up his career path, or even better, if something happened to him while he was covering something for his boss, something that made him change and grow as a character.

    I had people ask for a follow-on to my Muddy Waters, and they wanted the female cop to have a story. I hadn't planned on writing a sequel, but once I thought about it for a while, Laurie Ann moved to a leading lady role. I'm polishing it now for submission. Will it fly? I sure hope so.

    And I'm sure yours will too. You just need to get some brainstorming going on Luke. And if it turns out he's a beta hero instead of an alpha, LOTS of readers prefer that. Best of luck whatever you decide!

  4. Hi, Maggie. Thank you for your insights. A PA in this case is a Personal Assistant, and yes, I now do believe I could do something with him! Good luck with your Laurie Ann story, I hope it does fly for you.


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